Feeling like I'm drifting from Islam - need help, please
Assalamu alaikum. I feel like I'm moving away from Islam more and more each day and I need to be honest about it. Lately I keep seeing and doing things that are clearly prohibited. I don't pray the five daily prayers, I barely touch the Quran, I don't fast, and overall I don't worship Allah the way I should. I know the reason: I can't seem to control my desires for those forbidden things. I've tried to come back - I start praying and then soon after I fall into those prohibited actions again. I've tried many times, but it keeps happening. I even told myself "pray five times a day and you'll return to Allah," but I fall into the same habits 2–4 times a day or more. Wallahi I'm exhausted. I tried medication to reduce the drive and it didn't help. I can't get married right now because I don't have a job or money, and I don't think any woman would want to marry someone who isn't honest about his faith or his relationship with his Lord. I also can't reach out to people close to me because I'm worried about how family or others will react. So I'm writing here because I really want to stop this cycle. Please, any sincere advice, practical steps, or duas that helped you would be so appreciated. I'm ready to try anything that could help me return to Islam and control these urges. Jazakum Allahu khairan and sorry for my English.