Can I be held accountable for arguing with my mother? Seeking guidance on what to do

As-salamu alaykum. I’m a 22-year-old man and I need some honest advice. My mom was harsh when I was a child. She used physical punishment claiming it was for discipline, didn’t give me much freedom, turned me against my father, and we couldn’t afford sports or activities so I didn’t build friendships outside school. I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts since about age 10 or 11. My mother doesn’t pray, she’s shown racist attitudes and speaks badly about men. I’m half Black and my sister is too - she even tries to justify her racism by mentioning that. Now, every time I try to talk with her she insults me and yells because she’s stressed from work. When I try to explain that her behavior hurts, it turns into shouting and afterwards she talks about me to my 12-year-old sister. My sister thinks I’m right but is too scared to say it (she didn’t face heavy physical abuse because she is a girl). In the last two arguments I was the one who started screaming. The first time she criticised that I pray. The second was yesterday: she asked why I look so upset (that’s how I normally look; my father has the same resting look). The fight escalated and I told her I’m suicidal and that I don’t want to finish university (I paid for it myself and it’s cheap where I live). She didn’t react when I said I’m suicidal - I only stay alive for the sake of Allah swt - but when I mentioned stopping university she suddenly got serious. She went to work and texted that she accepts me stopping university and that I should do what I feel is right. Then this morning she told my sister I’m lying to get my own place to marry (I only mentioned marriage as a thought, I have nothing arranged) and that I think I’m right because I started praying this year, and she threatened me about the hereafter. She often acts understanding at first then makes light of or mocks what I say. Once she told me I should be grateful she only slapped me and never punched me; she once slapped my face into a wall. My main question: can I be punished for yelling at my mother? Most of these escalations begin with her shouting; I usually stay in my room, keep to myself, and follow her instructions. I don’t want to justify bad behavior, and I know we must respect parents in Islam, but I can’t keep being mistreated. I’m worried about my akhira and about my mental health. What should I do-religiously and practically? Should I keep trying to be patient, seek counseling, involve other family members, or is there a point where it’s permissible to set firmer boundaries? Any dua or advice for handling this while protecting my deen and myself would be appreciated.