Birr al-Walidayn… Where Do We Draw the Line?

Salam, brothers and sisters. I need to get something off my chest and seek your advice, in sha’ Allah. I’m a 24-year-old brother, alhamdulillah financially stable. I have a job, savings, and my own rented apartment, though I had been staying with my parents for a while to celebrate Eid together. Out of trust and care-so my family would be secure if anything ever happened to me-I willingly gave my mother my phone and banking passwords. But recently, while I was at the masjid for salah, she went through all my private chats on WhatsApp. When I returned home, things exploded. She found two things: 1. **Messages with my paternal uncles**: My parents have a long, painful history with my father’s brothers, and growing up we were told they were enemies. But as I learned more about Islam, I understood the huge importance of *silat al-rahm* (keeping ties with relatives). My uncles sent me Eid greetings, and I simply replied with *salam* and good wishes-nothing more. 2. **Chats about marriage**: I’m serious about guarding my chastity and getting married. My parents refused to help me until I reach a certain age, so I took halal steps myself-respectfully contacting fathers of potential wives. When I got back from the masjid, my mother was furious. She took my phone, and my father blocked me from getting it back. She then humiliated me in front of the family, mocking my efforts to marry. They told me to either give up my phone and privacy forever, or leave. With my patience gone and having my own place, I chose to go. I didn’t shout or use force, but now I’m scared to death. I know the high status of parents in Islam. I’m terrified that leaving while they’re angry counts as *‘uqooq* (disobedience) and might bring Allah’s anger. Has anyone been through something like this? Any scholarly advice? How can I set healthy adult boundaries and protect my deen without breaking ties with my parents? Jazakum Allahu khayran.