Assalamualaikum - I feel lost and need advice
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, I’m a male in my early 20s and I’m feeling quite overwhelmed. I got a job in September at a call centre and I was really relieved - after a year and a half since graduation and being unemployed, I thought working would help me find direction. Things went wrong though. At the end of October I got very sick and the company policy only allowed two days’ leave during training, but I had to take three because I was unwell. I don’t have friends, so I felt very lonely at work. A sister there once complimented my appearance and it made me feel like I might have some company - we messaged on Instagram sometimes, but I know that won’t change much. They asked me to interview for another department and I did, but on my way home from that interview my phone was pickpocketed. I was extremely stressed. A few days later I bought a replacement phone with my first salary and a little help from my father. I had planned to do many things with that first paycheck but couldn’t. It felt disappointing. When my joining date for the new department came close, I found out I couldn’t log in with my employee ID. HR told me the system had removed me. I asked why and was told my previous HR may have forgotten to add me to the other team, and on top of that I had unpaid charges for company transport because I couldn’t cancel bookings while my phone was gone. They said I could rejoin next month if I wanted, but after all this I feel that place isn’t right for me. The experience taught me that it isn’t a good fit. Now I’m back at home, unemployed again. My parents have been calling me foolish and useless - partly because my phone was stolen and partly because I forgot to take a proper photo of someone who visited our house regarding a rental and some money changed hands. I can’t seem to explain myself to them. I have no close friends checking on me, my parents don’t really give emotional support, and I don’t feel I can open up. I keep replaying everything and feel like a loser. I know I shouldn’t just sit and ruminate, and I’m trying to stop these thoughts but they keep returning. What should I do? I have no companions to talk to, and I can’t share this with my parents. TL;DR: Got my first job, felt less lonely after a kind compliment from a sister at work, then fell sick, lost my phone to a pickpocket after an interview, faced criticism from my parents, and later found the company removed me from the system so I’m unemployed again. I’m confused, lonely, and don’t know what to do. Any advice, duas, or practical steps would be appreciated. JazakAllahu khairan.