Alhamdulillah, Allah's Mercy Brought Me Back

Assalamu alaikum, I want to share something personal. For years I was miserable - I ranted about Allah and even spoke badly about the Prophet (PBUH) and about Allah SWT. Despite all that, I feel Allah didn’t abandon me in the end. I’m honestly emotional writing this now. I even joined an ex-Muslim group and went from agnostic to atheist for a time. I sinned a lot, and while we’re all sinners, enjoying and ignoring those sins made things worse. Lately it really hit me. I have struggled with suicidal thoughts for quite a while, even though on the outside I had what many would call a comfortable life. I lacked clarity and fell deeper into depression and anxiety because of overthinking. I’m still not doing great, but I believe 14th November is the day I chose to return to Islam. Truly there is a God - I’ve seen signs but my negligence dragged me into a miserable place. I don’t blame Him; it was my choices. Even now, coming back is my choice. I’m hopeful and confident Allah will forgive me because He is Most Merciful. If someone like me can find the path again, I believe others - ex-Muslims, agnostics, atheists - can too. I had written harsh words and arguments against God, but He remained loving and guided me back. Alhamdulillah.