Why Aren’t Scholars Talking About Male Beauty Standards?

Assalamu alaikum, I often come across talks about the marriage crisis among Muslims, and they usually point fingers at men not trying hard enough, having unrealistic expectations, or money problems. But I feel like scholars keep missing a big piece of the puzzle: how much looks matter, especially with beauty standards in the West. In the West, things like being tall, having lighter skin, light eyes, or certain facial features are often seen as ideal. Back home in places like Bangladesh or Egypt, everyone mostly looks similar, so it’s not a huge deal. But here, with so many different backgrounds and mixed beauty standards, the pressure feels way more intense. Let’s be honest, people are naturally drawn to those they find attractive. So many brothers end up with very few options for marriage, no matter how strong their iman is or how steady their job is. Speakers always tell parents to support their kids in getting married, but they never mention that maybe no one wants to marry their kids in the first place. It’s not just about going out and finding someone. Sure, deen is key, but often physical attraction hits first, and then we think about religious compatibility later. This isn't just a guy thing; sisters deal with it too. You’ll see practicing Muslims struggling to find a spouse simply because they don’t fit the common beauty mold. I’ve even noticed how some European brothers get a lot of attention when they visit certain countries, while ethnic minorities here sometimes feel like women from their own community prefer men from other backgrounds. My point is, we can’t keep talking about the marriage crisis only through money, deen, or unrealistic standards while ignoring looks and racialized beauty ideals. It’s awkward to bring up, but acting like it’s not there won’t fix anything. Maybe if scholars addressed this openly, we could have more honest conversations and find real solutions, insha’Allah.