Unsure what a balanced mother-daughter bond should be after she lost my father

Assalamu alaikum. I'm a 21-year-old woman and I really need some outside perspective. I can't tell anymore if I'm being ungrateful or if I'm carrying a burden that isn't mine to carry. My father passed away five years ago, may Allah have mercy on him. Since then, my mother has clearly struggled. She's alone, and I understand that. I don't blame her for feeling lonely or wanting her daughters close. But lately our relationship has become really strained. I'm trying to figure out where the line is between supporting your mother and being responsible for her emotional state. I live with my mother and my sister. My sister works long hours and pays the bills. I work part-time, help with chores, and I'm studying at university. We truly try to care for her and make her life comfortable. But my mother feels we don't spend enough time with her. She wants us to talk to her every day, for long stretches. She gets upset if we're quiet around her. Sometimes she wakes me in the morning to have breakfast together, even though she knows I have insomnia and I'm exhausted. If she eats alone, she says we treat her "like a dog." I don't know what to do with that. Because I really do try. I've invited her to the beach. She refused. I've invited her for coffee. Sometimes she doesn't want to go. When I come home, I do chores, shower, greet her, sit with her, and chat about whatever naturally comes up. But eventually the conversation ends. Sometimes I just want to go to my room, use my phone, talk to friends, watch something, or just be quiet. And even that becomes a problem. If she sees me on my phone talking to friends, she says, "You have time for others but not for me." She especially dislikes my best friend, thinking that friend is trying to pull me away from family or break us apart. I don't think my friend is doing that. I think I'm just... 21. I have friends, university, work, and things I enjoy. I want to build my own life, inshaAllah. Recently I told my mother I want to rent a place about 30 km away because of university. My commute is currently about 3 hours each way-six hours a day-and it's wearing me out. I want to graduate, work, build a career, and maybe eventually move farther away or even out of town. But she took the idea of me moving out very badly. She keeps saying my father left her and now she needs us to take care of her. I understand why she feels that way. She lost her husband and she's lonely. I don't want to dismiss her pain. But I'm her daughter. I'm trying to give her a better life, help at home, make things easier. But I can't replace the person she lost. And I can't always be emotionally available. Sometimes I genuinely have nothing to say. Sometimes I just want to sit in the same room silently. Sometimes I want to eat separately. Sometimes I want to sleep. Sometimes I want to talk to friends. Sometimes I want to go to university without feeling guilty for leaving her behind. I keep asking myself: Is it normal for a healthy mother-daughter relationship to include silence? Can you love your mother deeply and still not want to talk sometimes? Can you be in the same house and do your own thing without it meaning abandonment? How much responsibility does an adult daughter have for her mother's loneliness? At what point does supporting your mother become owning her emotional state? I'm Muslim, so this is religiously complicated for me too. I genuinely want to be a good daughter and fulfill my duties toward my mother. I don't want to be disrespectful or disobedient. I plan to speak with an imam about this, and I'm also seeing a therapist to help with the emotional side. I'm not seeking people to say my mother is horrible or that I should cut her off. I love my mother. I just don't know what a healthy mother-daughter relationship looks like when the daughter becomes an adult. I want to be there for her. I just don't want to lose my own life trying to prove I'm there. I'd really appreciate hearing from others who've gone through something similar, especially those who've lost a spouse or parent and faced this family dynamic. How do you balance loving and supporting your mother while still having your own life? And is it actually okay to sometimes just exist together in silence? Jazakum Allahu khairan.