Thinking about converting, feeling super torn inside

Assalamu alaikum. So I'm in a weird spot and my head's a mess. I grew up in a family that doesn't believe in God at all, but lately I've been diving into Islam online, reading translations of the Quran, and it's kinda blowing my mind-like there are these scientific things mentioned that feel too spot-on to be random. But then my brain flips and I start wondering if it's all just stories people made up. It's this constant back-and-forth, you know? One minute I'm like "I need to take my Shahada right now," the next I'm doubting if there's even a Creator. I live in the middle of nowhere in Europe, no Muslims around, closest mosque is ages away and I can't even drive yet, so I have zero people to talk to face-to-face. I'm scared to say the Shahada because I know I'll wake up the next day second-guessing everything again. And then I worry that Allah might seal my heart if I don't just commit and push the doubts away, and that thought terrifies me. I'm already trying to live Islamically-dropping haram stuff, cleaning up my habits. But the internet is full of strict fatwas that stress me out, like you can't play games with dice or cards, can't sit in a café with background music, no video calls, can't eat from a restaurant that serves alcohol even if your food is halal. It feels like if I ignore any of that, I'm straight-up disobeying Allah. But following every single rule forever sounds so heavy, and I don't wanna freak out my family by changing completely overnight. And in the background, I'm still questioning if Islam is even true or just a human creation. I wanna prove to myself 100% that it's from God so I can drop these doubts, but part of me is scared I'll realize it's not real and I'll have turned my life upside down for nothing. I know it's probably odd to pour this out online, but I genuinely don't know who else to turn to.