Rethinking Who Truly Cares for Parents in Our Homes

Bismillah, I’ve been reflecting on something that often comes up between my mom and me – the whole idea that sons are the ones meant to look after parents. Growing up in a Pakistani Muslim household, I saw how girls usually move to their husband’s family after marriage. I always heard aunties making du’a for a baby boy, rarely asking for a girl. My mom’s thinking is that a woman’s naseeb is always uncertain, and she seems to feel a son is just more of a blessing in that sense. Alhamdulillah, I was never mistreated for being a daughter, but I did notice my brother got more chances, especially with studies. I had to work hard for everything on my own, and honestly, I think I was sharper than him. The reason given was that he’s a boy and will have to carry the family’s financial weight later. I get that, but it’s just as vital for a Muslim woman to have some financial independence, right? The thing is, he was given everything easily, while I had to fight for every bit. How does that teach him responsibility? What stings more is that he doesn’t show half the care I do for our parents’ health and comfort. I’m always the one worrying and checking on them. It makes me wonder deep down: sometimes, daughters pour way more love and practical help into their parents’ lives, even when nobody raised them expecting to take on that role. Maybe we need to rethink these old ideas in our communities, in shaa’ Allah.