My husband divorced me at 23

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I’ve never shared anything like this before, but I truly need some advice and maybe your duas. I got married last year, quite young-we’re both 23. I’ve known this person since I was 16, and he was always back and forth, confusing me about his feelings. I understood because we were just kids. For years, he did his own thing, talking to other girls and being in a long-term relationship while I just watched from afar. It hurt that he never chose me, but I never begged. I held my head high, walked away, and that was it. A couple of years later, he came back into my life when I was in the best place I’d ever been. I had my own apartment, lots of friends, and was living in my dream city-I was so genuinely happy. My whole life had improved since we last spoke, and I saw why he was interested again. I ignored him for a year because I worried about his intentions. After a year of him trying, I finally gave him a chance. He promised his intention was marriage and that he’d changed, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I really cared for him. If what he said was true, it felt like a dream come true. After talking for a couple of months, I decided to get serious and moved from that city back to my hometown to get engaged. And that’s what happened. I left everything-truly everything and everyone-and came back. Within a month, we were engaged, and it all felt like a dream. After the engagement, his ex-girlfriend called me. She said they’d been in touch recently and warned me he was a pathological liar, things like that. I knew she might be trying to ruin things, but she planted a seed in my mind, and I didn’t realize how big it would grow. I started feeling paranoid and needed to know if she was telling the truth. Eventually, he came clean when he couldn’t hide it anymore. He told me that while we were talking-right before I moved-he was still chatting with other girls, meeting them, and so on. You can imagine what I’m saying. Put yourself in my shoes: I’d just gotten engaged and was so happy, and then I find this out. But the person I loved so deeply kept assuring me it was over and he had changed, so I gave him another chance. I shouldn’t have, not because he did it again, but because the suspicion in my mind wrecked my life. From that day on, I never spent a single day without thinking about what he’d done with others. I couldn’t go outside, scared someone might recognize him or me. If his phone rang, my heart would drop because I was terrified of being disappointed again. Let me say, though, that from the day we got engaged, he never did anything like that again. He was honest and open, and I know for a fact he didn’t repeat those mistakes. When I say this ruined my life, I mean it completely. On our wedding day, it was all I could think about. I felt embarrassed to do my makeup or hair because I didn’t want anyone who knew him to look at me and think, “Look at her all dressed up, she’s probably so happy and doesn’t even know what I’ve done with him.” I couldn’t look his family in the eye, paranoid they knew things I didn’t. I stopped talking to my friends because all they wanted to know was how married life was, and I had no answer. All I knew was I was suffocating from overthinking and suspicions. What kills me is he never did anything wrong after the engagement. I almost wish he had, so I wouldn’t blame myself so much, but for some reason I just couldn’t forget. It hurt so much-even writing this now, it hurts so much. After a few months of feeling this way, I started bursting out in anger all the time. I was constantly irritated, always wanting to be alone, yelling and shouting. I was angry, but truly, I was in so much pain from my own thoughts. The fights got worse, and he tried his best to handle it, but nothing he said or did could fix it. I was just hurting too much. Eventually, he gave up and divorced me. When he did, I was in shock-I couldn’t believe he’d abandon me. Now I see he couldn’t take it anymore, but for me, despite everything, I loved him more than anything. I truly loved him so deeply, which is why I was so hurt. He left me, divorced me, and never spoke a word to me after. It’s been two months, and he’s moved on, living his life, going out, meeting new people-doing everything as if our life together never happened. I spent the first month begging him to talk to me, desperate to get him back, but his mind was made up, and he never looked back. I’m sorry for this long story, and if you’ve read this far, thank you. I regret holding onto that situation for so long, but I try to give myself grace because I couldn’t control how awful I felt. I told myself I’d work on myself nonstop, hoping that if he came back, I’d be a better wife. But he never returned. He’s spent these two months meeting other people, replacing me with whoever comes along. But I still can’t forget him. I still want to work on our marriage, which feels silly since he’s long gone. I don’t know what to do. All I ask is if anyone has advice, please be gentle with me. And if you could make dua for me, I’d really appreciate if you asked Allah SWT for our return to each other in peace. JazakAllah khair.