Is my behavior toxic, or are we caught in a painful marriage cycle?

Assalamu alaikum. My wife and I had our nikah when we were young, and we truly wanted a marriage full of love and mercy. But lately, things have been really hard. I'm studying for a huge medical exam, and at the same time, my family went through a crisis-my father was taken by the police. I had panic attacks, migraines, even suicidal thoughts. I felt like everything was falling apart. During this, my wife and I were fighting nonstop. For a whole month we barely had a calm moment, even right before my exam. I kept asking her to give me space because I was drowning in family issues and needed to study. I sent her videos of me crying, trying to show her how overwhelmed I was. When I told her I had suicidal thoughts, she sometimes said she’d die too. When I mentioned an anxiety attack, she said, "I get them too, what’s new?" I felt unheard, not comforted, even though we’re supposed to be each other’s protection in hard times. I need to admit I lost my temper twice. I once said, "You’ve seriously messed up my head." Another time, I said I didn’t want to talk with a swear word because I needed to study. She says this is verbal abuse. I see it as frustration, not a personal attack, but I know harsh words are wrong in Islam. She’s called me names like "idiot" and worse. There’s something else that worries me more. I told her a certain word is tied to my trauma and asked her not to use it, but she still does. Islam teaches us not to harm or mock each other. Also, she once refused to forgive me unless I hurt myself, which I now realize is completely unhealthy-self-harm is never okay in Islam. This pattern has been repeating since September. I tell her I need space to study, but we fight most days. We’re in a long-distance marriage, which doesn’t help. I really want honest thoughts, not just reassurance. From an Islamic angle: - Were my outbursts sinful or abusive? - Is it unhealthy when a spouse won’t give reasonable space during a crisis? - How bad is it that forgiveness was tied to me hurting myself? - Is this mutual toxicity, or am I blind to my own faults? - If we’ve been stuck like this for months despite trying, can this marriage be saved? I know this is just my side, so please tell me if I’m unreasonable or leaving things out. JazakAllah khair.