I surrendered to Allah, yet my heart feels hollow

Assalamu alaikum. My bond with Allah isn’t the usual one you see in our community. Most people I know either love Him deeply or fear Him. For me, it’s more tangled. I realize I’m nothing in this vast creation-like a tiny speck in an endless ocean. I feel easily replaceable. With that in mind, I still bow down. I follow Allah’s orders to seek strength, wealth, and knowledge for the sake of the Ummah, and I keep up with all the fardh acts like salah, sawm, and zakah. I’ve accepted Allah as the Highest. If He decides to test me or grant me ease, I’m fine with it. I can’t change what’s written anyway. But honestly, I feel numb about living or dying. I’m okay if I pass away, and I’m okay if I keep going. It doesn’t stir me much, since I just focus on doing what must be done. And I do get things done, with a clear mind and no second-guessing.