I'm losing my faith after so much pain

I used to ask Allah for just two things: for my mother to be healthy and for my father to have enough money. I begged in every dua, even when I was right in front of the Kaaba. But then everything fell apart-my father lost everything financially, and my mother passed away. Honestly, I don’t get it. They say after hardship comes ease, but for the past five years it’s been nothing but struggle, and I’m at the point where I just want to give up. I try to find peace in Islam, but it just feels empty now, like another way to cope. Everyone tells me the same things-that this world is temporary, others have it worse, the prophets suffered more-but it doesn’t help. I’m not a prophet, I’m just a regular person, a confused kid. I grew up Muslim, but after my mom died, I stopped praying after the first three months. Sometimes I try, but I have to force myself. Even when I think about Allah, I get angry, and I catch myself cursing-I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it. When I do pray, after I make dua for my mom, I end up mocking it, like asking Him to send me a million dollars or just yelling at Him. I wasn’t the best Muslim before, but I still prayed, read the Quran, and tried. Now, it’s been two months since I’ve prayed or read the Quran at all. I can barely get through the day. Nothing has really changed since she passed-it’s just darker and I feel more broken. I tried to get help, but I can’t afford it. Sometimes it feels like a cruel joke, and I don’t understand why there’s so much suffering.