I almost hit my mom and I feel terrible about it

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I need to get something off my chest and maybe get some advice because I'm really lost right now. So what happened is, I almost hit my mother. I feel awful just typing that. English isn't my first language so please excuse any mistakes. I live with my mom, my aunt, my brother and my younger cousins who are like 11 or 12. I'm the oldest so naturally I get all the responsibilities dumped on me, while they just play around and nobody says anything to them. My brother is the good one, always polite, and sometimes I feel like the black sheep of the family honestly. There's this one cousin I share a room with. She treats it like a hotel – sleeps there, keeps all her stuff there, but never cleans. It really gets to me, especially because my mom and aunt never tell her anything. Last week we came back from a family trip, everyone was exhausted, we ordered food, and when I went to my room it was a disaster zone. My cousin had stayed home, lied on my bed, and left an open bag of chips scattered all over the carpet. That was it, I just snapped. I told her to clean up, she said "in a bit" like always, I yelled at her, my aunt jumped in to defend her, I yelled at her too, and then my mom shoved me hard and I fell. I got up so angry I grabbed her shoulders, pushed her back, and I was about to… you know, hit her, but my aunt stopped me right then. I'm so ashamed. I already tried saying sorry but things still feel broken. I don't know who to talk to about this. Has anyone else ever felt this kind of anger? What does Islam say about controlling yourself in moments like this? I just want to make things right.