Hurts That Last Generations

السلام عليكم I’ve been really upset thinking about how my father talks about my grandmother’s choices. This is about the marriages of my uncle and aunt-both in their late 50s or early 60s now. Just one different call could have saved them from so much pain. My aunt, the eldest, was married off to a man who was abusive, reckless with money, and had terrible manners and no faith. My grandmother agreed to it based on just one remark from someone else. My aunt suffered for years until she made du’a against him, and he had a heart attack that finally silenced him. My uncle, a gentle soul, went through a different ordeal. When he was young, he developed feelings for his cousin and wrote her letters. He went abroad for studies and his situation changed-he wanted to marry another woman. But my grandmother flew the cousin to him and forced the marriage, saying they couldn’t ruin a poor girl’s life. He ended up in an 18-year nightmare with a wife who was manipulative and even violent. With my father’s help, he eventually left her and took their child. What bothers me most is how my father defends my grandmother. He says she grew up poor, wasn’t taught any better, and didn’t know what she was doing. He calls it “context.” I disagree-those decisions caused generational harm that could’ve been avoided. When I say that, he gets angry and calls me judgmental. I’m not trying to be arrogant, but how is it bigoted to say she was foolish and naive for ruining her children’s lives? I need advice. I’m disturbed by these injustices in my own extended family and the fact that she was never held accountable. I’ve even started disliking my parents’ hometown because of all this.