Haven't prayed for a long time because of my mental struggles, I really need support

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. It’s a long story, but basically severe OCD took over my life and left me shattered. I felt so trapped that stopping prayer seemed like the only way out, because I couldn’t handle the constant torment this monster in my mind caused during wudu, ghusl, every salah, every moment. Now I’m lying awake at 5 am, scared of leaving this world like this. But no matter how much I promise myself, I can’t bring myself to try again-I’m too afraid to even go near the sink for wudu. It feels impossible. I make istighfar after each missed prayer time, aiming to try again, but I just freeze. I’m so frightened to pray. It’s like something heavy holds me back, pretending to shield me from the terror of actually attempting it. Everything worries me: going to the toilet is a battle with OCD, getting dressed for Salah sparks new fears. Every bit of it stresses me out-doubts about the qiblah direction, whether my clothes properly cover me, every move I make… then I start wondering if the smallest thing invalidated the prayer, so I restart over and over. I can’t go through that again. I truly need help. I don’t want to face Allah in this state, but I feel like I can’t pray unless someone does my wudu for me and gently makes me stand for prayer, as strange as that sounds. I used to scrub my skin raw trying to remove barriers that weren’t even there, leave my lips cracked and dry fearing lip balm would block water for wudu, and avoid skincare creams for the same reason. I’d even skip brushing my teeth to make sure my gums don’t bleed so there’s no impurity in my mouth. The list goes on and on.