Feeling like a weirdo, who’s to blame?

A lot of brothers might get this, especially if you grew up with strict desi parents. So basically, I’m super shy. I’ve got a younger sister who’s emotionally distant, never had an older sibling to look up to, and spent my school and college years buried in books at all-boys institutions. Because of all that, I get really awkward around sisters. I can’t hold eye contact-I just feel embarrassed or ashamed for no clear reason. Honestly, I don’t even know why. But when I look away, I worry it leaves a bad impression, like the other person thinks something’s off with me. Another thing is my parents never really taught me how to talk to people or handle social situations. Most of the time they were caught up with work, family stuff, or themselves. There was never an open space at home where I could share my struggles or ask about things I was going through. It was mostly, “That’s your issue, deal with it yourself.” Maybe some of you will just say, “Bro, just act normal.” I get that. I’ve tried plenty of times. The issue is I can’t just control my body like a switch. When I’m actually in the moment, I get nervous, my body reacts on its own, and keeping direct eye contact is really tough. And if you work in a corporate setting, it’s even rougher because you’re dealing with communication every single day. Some folks might even suggest getting married, saying I’ll eventually get comfortable around women. But remind you, I have desi parents? I actually tried bringing up marriage with my parents’ help. But then I get told I don’t have a house, no stable job, or whatever else is missing. My father sometimes tells me how he got married at 35, as if that’s supposed to explain what I should be doing now. Then I get a lecture and that’s the end of the chat. And here I am now, no job, no money, and barely any self-respect. The only thing left, feels like, is my ego. So who do I blame? My parents for not giving me the environment I needed? My circumstances? My schooling? Or myself for not figuring things out sooner? At the end of the day, I know I’m an adult. I’m the one who has to find a fix and work on myself. I need to get emotionally stronger and learn the things no one taught me. So I’m trying to stay hopeful and keep putting one foot forward. “Masha’Allah! You’re doing well. Just a little more, insha’Allah?”