Feeling Helpless on the Journey

Assalamu alaikum. I just feel so powerless sometimes. Powerless to help others who are suffering, powerless to concentrate, powerless to protect myself from temptation, powerless to earn a proper living, and powerless to feel like I'm worth anything. My relationship with Allah has always been built on dua. Asking the Creator of everything for help-with material needs, spiritual growth, for others, for myself. It's such a core part of our faith. But... I don't feel heard. For the last seven or eight years, I've been making the same essential pleas. One is to become a better Muslim. Yet sometimes now, I feel even more despairing about Allah's decree. Another is for success in this life and the next. In this world, I've lost a significant amount of money for my age, and it's gotten me really down. I've tried to create my own rizq, gotten into business ventures, but nothing seems to work out. And another is for marriage. It's one of the most common duas, right? And alhamdulillah, I have found someone wonderful. A truly amazing person. But... I struggle with controlling my desires. I've had this challenge, this habit, since I was young. Now I'm about to leave my teenage years behind and step into adulthood. I've begged Allah to heal me from this. I've tried fasting, praying two rak'ahs after slipping up, giving sadaqah (around ten percent of what I had), praying extra nawafil, and I've cried so many times. And now, the dua I've been making for marriage feels... pointless. Let me explain. I've made a specific dua to marry her for about four years. Every single day, multiple times a day. That's well over three thousand times. And I've been given signs that she feels the same way. But... how can I, as a man, propose marriage when I'm in this state? Stuck in this cycle, feeling lost, confused, and anxious. Wallahi, I don't say this lightly, but I genuinely only want her. Yet... why can't I change? Why can't I improve my situation? I've spent years trying to take the necessary steps, to 'tie my camel.' I've spent years trying to change my own condition. But it feels like I'm just hitting my head against a wall. Right now, I feel hopeless. Everything I thought I understood about Allah... it feels like it's just gone. I struggle with being a man sometimes, with these persistent urges that just don't let up. I fight them, I really do. But it seems like nothing I do, say, or pray makes a difference. Thanks for listening, and may Allah grant us all ease. Wa alaikum assalaam.