Fear of passing on HPV and whether I should ever marry

As-Salamu Alaikum. I’m writing this with a heavy heart, and I know many of you will think badly of me-I can’t blame you. All my young life, I kept away from any haram contact with women. But as I got older and started seriously looking for marriage, I faced rejection after rejection. Over 11 years of trying, the last one broke me completely-the sister I wanted to marry preferred my friend. I spiraled into despair, jealousy, and self-hatred, and in that low moment I did something I never imagined: I paid an escort. That one slip trapped me in a 4-year addiction, and I ended up with around 20 different women. I’m disgusted with myself. Now, after stopping and going to therapy, I’m terrified of ever marrying. I’m a fornicator, and I don’t deserve a chaste Muslim wife. But my worst fear is transmitting HPV to her. I tested clear for other STIs, but there’s no sure test for HPV in men, and with my past, I most likely carry it. I’ve read heartbreaking accounts of Muslim women getting HPV and even cancer from an infected husband. If I caused that to a believing wife, the guilt would destroy me-I might not survive it. It would also shatter my reputation and expose my sins, though that’s nothing compared to her suffering. I’ve realized my arrogance was my downfall: I used to look down on those who fell into zina, thinking I was better, when it was only Allah’s mercy keeping me safe-plus, as a short, unattractive man, I didn’t even have chances. So should I give up on marriage, accept I’ll live and die alone to protect someone else from my likely HPV? All I ever wanted was to love a wife, have kids, and be a devoted husband. But if this loneliness is my punishment, then I accept it. I haven’t been eating well lately, and I know I deserve this pain.