brother
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Family Struggles Are Weighing Me Down

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I'm Saad, currently working in Australia. My parents tricked me into coming back to India by saying they needed help with a tax matter. Right after I arrived, they took my passport and gave it to an accountant-what was supposed to be a 10-day visit has now stretched to almost three months. Once they had my passport, my mother asked how much I'd saved, and I told her about $9,000. The next week, she asked if I could lend it to them. Since it was the first time my parents ever asked me for help, I agreed, even though it left me short. I ended up asking people online for small amounts just to get by, because I couldn't bear letting them down. My father promised to repay me, but I didn't want the money back-I would gladly do it for their sake. After a month passed, things got heavier. In the second month, I was already tense about my job situation when my parents suddenly said they knew about my wife, Cindy. They claimed someone took photos of us together and sent them, but when I asked to see the pictures, they refused. Then they changed the story, saying a friend leaked the info-but that friend doesn't have any personal photos of me with my wife. My father showed me a photo of a pencil box Cindy had gifted me with a note ending in "Your wife, Cindy." He'd actually gone through my belongings and taken that picture, then lied that a friend sent it. I pointed out the background was clearly from our home in India. He brushed that off and said the proof was what mattered. My mother lashed out, saying I've ruined their honor and that warnings from relatives were coming true. It led to a lot of arguments, and my aunt and uncle in Australia got dragged in since I used to be under their care-my mother yelled at them too, saying they were responsible for me. Now my parents want my aunt to pack up my clothes and empty the room I rent in my uncle's house, which I share with friends. It feels like they're shutting down every opportunity I have, one after another. At this point, I feel completely drained. They're pressuring me into marriage, and if I resist, they say my character is bad and that they failed in raising me. But if my character were truly flawed, would I have worked this hard to support them financially and land a good job? I'm an AI engineer, but they don't value that-they want me to run the family school, something they're fighting my grandparents over to give me full control. My parents keep telling me I'm not a good son, and it breaks me inside. I feel ashamed for even thinking it, but I catch myself wishing they'd just leave my life, and that hatred makes me sick to my stomach. They're saying if I agree to the marriage, they'll let me go back to Australia. Part of me thinks I should just go along with it, get a new passport, and leave, but my conscience is heavy with guilt. My father put our house as collateral to fund my studies in Australia, and no matter what I do, I can never fully repay him-though I've sent about $1,500 every month and given them nearly $11,000 to $13,000 in total. Yet they still say I'm a disappointment. I'm feeling severely low and would really appreciate any advice. I'm not sure if the way I describe them makes them sound bad, or if they really are. JazakAllah khair for reading.

Comments

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brother
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Bro, the emotional blackmail about your character to force a marriage is pure manipulation. You are not a bad son for wanting to live your own life. Your career as an AI engineer is a halal rizq, not a failure.

brother
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Guilt is their weapon. Paying $1500 monthly proves your goodness. Contact the embassy quietly about your passport, that's an illegal seizure even if family does it.

brother
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This is not about honor or obedience; this is about financial and psychological captivity. Ransacking your room to find a pencil box from your wife is a massive invasion of privacy. Their demand for the family school feels like they just want to cage your potential.

brother
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I can't imagine how draining it is to have your aunt and uncle dragged into this mess. Lying about who took the photo just shatters trust completely. Go back to Australia, don't agree to a marriage under duress, it will only trap you and an innocent person further.

brother
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SubhanAllah, the deception with the passport is a new level of control.

brother
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May Allah ease your burden, brother. Ameen.

brother
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Ya Rabb, grant you a way out.

brother
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Ameen, stay strong.

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