Eating pattern struggles

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu sisters 💗 I'm new here and I really need this app because I need to tell people about this. I've been holding on so long to this that I can't remember the last time I felt normal. I've finally gathered the courage to open up and I really want you to talk to me even if you have nothing to say just a good word will make me feel better, In Sha Allah. So, it began last year after I graduated high school, I was a foodie especially of sweets. But I wasn't particular about anything. I'd eat anything. Food wasn't the main thing on my mind though. In fact, I didn't even remember to eat sometimes. But after that, when I became alone with all my friends away and me taking a gap year because I was indecisive (it's a whole different story) I decided to run. But because it made me feel good. I genuinely loved the way it'd make me feel. But, I wasn't on any diet. I ran because I wanted to. And then, few months down, I realized I lost weight. It made me so ecstatic because I believed since 8th grade that I was incapable of losing weight and I was very insecure about it. So, I ran everyday and then I cut down to two meals. Then few more months, I cut off sugar slowly and completely. Then, processed food. And, then I started fasting mondays and Thursdays. Also, keep in mind I was growing closer to islam so I was motivated to be disciplined and really wanted to be a better Muslim with all my heart. I found Muslim communities in the masjids etc. And I kept this up for so long I forgot how long. I'd refuse sweets on events and watch my intake. I was very sensitive to even a bit of added sugar item that entered my mouth. I lost weight like crazy. And I genuinely concerned everyone even strangers. 1 and a half year later, here I am, working out twice as hard with strength training but also...caught myself in a pattern I would never wish upon anyone. My appetite definitely increased. I was eating more but healthy. Now, almost for two weeks, I've been going about eating all sugary items in the house too fast and too much. What is it? Where did I go wrong? I keep feeling shame and guilt afterwards. And I can't even enjoy events and I don't even eat proper meals or with my family anymore although I really want to.... Even while I was on umrah, after an excruciating day, I would gobble whatever was available and then I couldn't eat with my family later. I really need your Duas, sisters. I believe the waswasa of shaytan is getting to me and it's also affecting my worship. I miss myself and I miss good times with people. Please, make Dua for me sisters.