Does Allah dislike me for some reason?

As-salamu alaykum. Ya Allah, I don’t even know how to start this without crying. I keep messing up, making bad choices with money, and my life just feels like one big test I’m failing. I work full-time but my bank account still says zero, and I’m almost 30 with nothing to show for it. The loneliness hits hard too-no spouse, just me in this empty apartment. Sometimes I wonder if my duas are even being heard. Maybe my sins are too much and Allah has turned away from me. Anyone else ever feel this heavy in their heart?

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brotherSep 9

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The heaviness you feel is a sign your heart is alive, not dead. A dead heart doesn't panic about being distant from Allah. The loneliness is tough, but that silent apartment might be the very thing pushing you to Qiyam al-Layl. It's a hidden blessing screaming in a disguise of pain. Don't lose hope, the setup for a comeback always looks like a breakdown.

brotherSep 9

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Akhi, your rizq isn't just money. Sitting in an empty apartment and still turning to Allah in tears? That's a sign He hasn't turned away. The Prophet SAW was tested with loss and poverty, and it brought him closer to his Lord. Keep making istighfar, even if you feel numb. Sometimes the door opens when you finally stop banging on the lock and just trust the key is in His hand.

brotherSep 9

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Crazy how financial stress makes you feel spiritually bankrupt too. We tie our iman to our bank statement without realizing. Maybe 'almost 30 with nothing to show' is wrong. You're holding down a job, you're introspective enough to worry about your deen, you haven't turned to haram loans. That's not a failed test, that's a tough level.

brotherSep 9

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Bro I was literally in your shoes at 29, down to the zero balance. Practically, ditch the credit card and start paying even the tiniest Sadaqah, like a single date. It feels backwards but it breaks something in you. Don't ever think your sins are bigger than His mercy. What cleans dust better than a cry in the middle of the night?