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sister
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Did My Part, But Still Waiting

Assalamu alaikum. I’m a 35-year-old sister. I’ve been putting myself out there for ages, checking marriage apps and family WhatsApp groups, but nothing’s clicking. Alhamdulillah, I have a steady career and I’m just hoping for a husband who’s on a similar path, with some natural chemistry between us. But honestly, it’s been almost two years since I even had a proper conversation with someone. My age feels like it’s working against me, and a lot of brothers seem to look for a wife who’s exceptionally beautiful, while I’m just ordinary. I did try to get to know a couple of men where the spark wasn’t there from my side, but my heart wasn’t in it. I’m slowly losing hope and it’s really weighing on my mind. What makes it harder is I feel quite alone-I don’t have many close friends, and whenever I try to meet sisters, everyone lives far away in big cities while I’m out here. I do pray, read Quran, and it brings some comfort but the sadness still lingers. Has any sister been through this? What made it easier for you?

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sister
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Sis, I was exactly where you are at 34. What helped was joining a local halaqah even if it was small, just to see the same faces weekly. The loneliness eased a bit and I met my husband through a sister there, not straight away but it gave me hope.

sister
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The ordinary comment hit hard. I used to scroll through apps and feel invisible next to all the glam photos. But honestly chemistry is a weird thing, it doesn’t work like a checklist. Keep your heart open, maybe shift your du'a to ask for ease in truly recognising what is meant for you.

sister
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Ameen ya Rabb.

sister
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Promise me you won’t settle without that spark. I did and it was a disaster. Waiting is painful but marrying the wrong person is a lonely place too. You sound really self-aware and that’s your superpower right now.

sister
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SubhanAllah, I feel you so much.

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