Dealing with Family Hurt, Emotional Fatigue, and Finding My Connection to Allah Again

As-salamu alaykum. I know my struggles might seem small to some, but I'm at a breaking point and sincerely need gentle, helpful words. If you can't offer that, please just skip this. I grew up in a home full of emotional turmoil. Both my parents caused me pain, but my mother especially was mentally harsh-always yelling, insulting me, and blaming me for things I didn't do. There was no emotional warmth, so I buried myself in studies just to cope. All this chaos wrecked my focus and brought intense anxiety and sadness. I was finally starting to heal last year, but then things my parents did pulled me right back into misery. Since then, it's been failure after failure, even though I've pushed myself and made du'a constantly. I'm angry and bitter toward them, though I try to hold my tongue. Please don't lecture me about the sin of disobeying parents-I already carry that guilt. I just need help handling the exhaustion and hurt. This family mess has also made it hard to trust anyone. I worry about marriage, especially since my parents won't help me search, and I don't have trustworthy people around to assist. I feel stranded in a matter so huge for my future. Other people have disappointed me too, and sometimes I just want to shut everyone out. I've clung to salah, dhikr, and sabr, but after years of struggle and quiet skies, I'm struggling to feel Allah's mercy and love. How do I actually heal from this pain, control my grudges, set some limits with my parents, and reconnect with Allah? I want to keep my faith, but I'm just so tired and lost. Any practical, kind advice from an Islamic angle would mean the world.